Good Riddance to 2012

While others have been focused on new year's resolutions, I've been trying to get rid of 2012.  

2012 was a terrible year for me.  A year of loss, stress, and fear.

Okay.  Anger, depression and exhaustion, too.

2012 began with grief and coping with the loss of Tucker, our sweet black Lab mix.  He nearly made it to his 14th birthday.  Instead of a grand birthday celebration, we buried him 2 weeks prior.  A bad veterinarian diagnosis led to brain cancer which traveled to other organs.  Grief, anger, and frustration.

In February 2012, I lost my heart dog, Lucy, to heart failure.  She was 5 months shy of her 14th birthday.  I knew this was coming, but thought we had at least another year together.  No matter - no amount of time would have felt enough.  Grief and heartbreak.

One week later my mother began what would be a 7 month cycle of hospitalizations and rehab.  Actually, the cycle began with one of the many hospitalizations and the neurosurgeon saying:  this is it; get her affairs and funeral plan in order.  There are no words to describe that 7 month period of time.

In the midst of it, my husband (the "too young," lean, runner, organic-eater, uber healthy guy) had a heart attack.   You can run, but you cannot hide from genetics, folks!   A balloon, plus stent angioplasty later and we thought all would be okay.

It wasn't okay.  Our dog daddy has had an "adverse reaction to the drug eluded stent."  You can't imagine what he is still going through and I won't gross you out by going into detail.  Suffice to say, it is a nightmare of epic and painful proportions.  

We still don't know if bypass surgery will be needed to remove the stent.  The manufacturers of the stent, plus doctors at Barnes in St Louis and Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, are working with all of Gary's specialists.  Time will tell the tale because if it is the drug portion of the stent, that should wear off.  If it is the stent itself, it is a case of the body rejecting it like in an organ transplant patient.  Regardless, now my active, life embracing husband is barely able to get out of bed.

Somewhere in that mess, my mom's hospitalization cycle continued, we had to put her dog Andy to sleep, and one of Gary's brothers died.

2012 ended with the death of a dear friend.  She and I share a birthday, December 27.  The day before she lapsed into the coma from which she would never awaken, she sent me a birthday greeting.  I think she "knew."  

And those are just the highlights of 2012.  I have to admit, I'm still grieving, stressed, exhausted, frustrated, afraid and royally pissed angry.

So, hello 2013.  Glad to see you!    

I've decided that I will continue For Love of a Dog and this Talking Dogs blog, but I'll definitely be scaling back.

No new year's resolutions.  Just a promise to myself to work less and enjoy life more since we never know what can happen and how our lives can change in an instant.  

And, especially, to spend more time with my dogs.